​We can place blame on others for “robbing” us of our peace all we want.  Truth is, your peace cannot be taken away. It has to be given.  When God gives us true peace, it cannot be tampered with.  We have it because we recognize the gift that has been given. Isaiah 26:3 says “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts you.  John 16:33 says These things I have spoken to you, that in ME you have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.
 
When we find ourselves experiencing “weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities” we are not a peace.  When we release those burdens over to God keeping our focus on HIS promises, we will filled with peace-know HE has it all under control.
 
When I see meme’s or quotes that talk about how “since certain people have left there’s more peace”  Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. People tend to walk away from situations when it no longer serves its purpose.  Be it good or bad.  We place power in the absence of individuals when we have to have them to learn how to deal with conflict.   Which is why certain situations resurface.   If you’re facing issues in certain areas in life-you or the other person walking away will not solve that problem. Especially if the problem is you, masked by the presence of others.
 
I remember someone saying to me “I only act this way towards you” they said it as if I were to wear it as a badge of shame. Until God revealed to me why. The person was able to mask themselves in the presence of others. With me, I was able to see beyond the mask I was able to see how they truly were.
 
I speak with a lot of people regarding their relationships, situationships, ,friendships etc., and they all say the same thing. It’s not me, it’s them. They’re disturbing my peace.  NO-it’s you.  You’re disturbing your own peace by refusing to address the unhealed parts. Are you truly at peace?  Is there something that is causing you to feel moved (in a negative way)by what someone has said or done?  If so, you still have some healing to do.  Your peace cannot find you, while your busying yourself giving it away to others. 


#Godfirst #KnowPeace #DealHealnMoveForward #BeInPeace

It’s hard being a mother at times. We offend, defend, love, nurture, have our feelings hurt, we cook(or order take out) we clean(our hire a cleaning service) we work jobs that test our whole being, all so that we can support our families. 

We have children who are not so nice at times, or who push you to the edge where you yourself, if honest-need a break. All while dealing with issues of our own. It seems almost impossible to deal with it all at times.. But God!

Mother’s Day is so much more than just a nationally or internationally known holiday. Today is the day where you can tell/show your mother(step or someone who filled in) how much you love them. It isn’t a day to bash who isn’t there. If they gave birth to you....they still did their part. If they couldn’t or felt they couldn’t love you and sent their gift as a present to someone else....Thank God, they did you a favor.

If you’re a dad who is fulfilling both the role of mom/dad. You’re blessed and will continue to be a blessing. Refrain from bashing who left, accept it and show your child a different way to love and handle responsibilities. But do not spend time on bad mouthing the one who chose to leave. Their purpose may have been to deliver what is supposed to stay.

We focus on the wrong things at times. Mother's Day is about showing the woman or man who go beyond themselves even when it’s HARD or too much at times......Just how much they mean to you!  Don’t blow it by calling out the flaws of the one who isn’t there.

To the mother estranged from her child(ren), stop beating yourself up.  Find a way to develop a relationship with your child(ren) now.  Even if, it's with your grandchildren.  You will not be able to place a time frame on reconciliation, however; changed behavior will be your answer.  Forgive your self, instead of waiting for your child(ren) to forgive you.  Work on you so that if/when reconciliation occurs-you're ready for it.  For the child(ren) who believe hate is the answer or harboring un-forgiveness in their hearts is the answer, think again.  Talking about the past will help, but understand that the answers of which you seek-may not make sense to you...Find peace in knowing that at least their trying.  Show grace on both sides.


Happy Mother’s Day to ALL who’ve stepped into this role that has its ups and downs!

#Godfirst #ToBeAMother #RewardingandTiresomeAtTimes

Over the past few weeks I’ve observed behavior patterns of others, whether it’s family, friends, co-workers and I wonder what it will take for some of them to get the proper help needed to improve the quality of life for themselves and others around them. It saddens me that there’s hundreds/millions of people who remain undiagnosed with mental illness due to being afraid of how they’ll be perceived and not willing to be held accountable for themselves.  It’s even worse when family/friends refuse to step up out of fear of losing a friend because of it.  Well, I’m the friend who will risk losing you-but will tell you that you need help and will work hard to ensure you get it.
​
I’m an advocate for getting the proper help needed to help you live a life that’s worth living.  I’m not big on “hiding” how I feel or what I go through. Mental health has plagued my family for years.  Some have been diagnosed many have not-However, If I knew back then, what I know now…………. But God!
Personally-I have family who suffer with a mental illness(diagnoses range from bi-polar, schizophrenia, depression, etc.). So, for me, it’s real and I know first-hand the fight, the struggle, the emotional turmoil that it has on our family.  I know the emotional roller coaster that it causes especially when one or the other refuses to take their medication because they believe they can “beat it” on their own.
I advocate because a huge part of me understands where the emotional strain comes from. What they may have endured, and haven’t let go of, a fear of not being accepted socially-unable to truly be their authentic selves out of fear of how they may be perceived-by this world and the people in it.

Because mental health can appear in many different forms; it often goes undiagnosed.  Sometimes symptoms of a mental health disorder appear as physical problems, such as stomach pain, back pain, headache, or other unexplained aches and pains, etc.

Signs and symptoms of mental illness can vary, depending on the disorder, circumstances and other factors. Mental illness symptoms can affect emotions, thoughts and behaviors.

Examples of signs and symptoms include:

• Feeling sad or down
• Confused thinking or reduced ability to concentrate
• Excessive fears or worries, or extreme feelings of guilt
• Extreme mood changes of highs and lows
• Withdrawal from friends and activities
• Significant tiredness, low energy or problems sleeping
• Detachment from reality (delusions), paranoia or hallucinations
• Inability to cope with daily problems or stress
• Trouble understanding and relating to situations and to people
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Major changes in eating habits
• Sex drive changes
• Excessive anger, hostility or violence
• Suicidal thinking

 
 It’s truly time that we acknowledge all past hurts, fears, things that keep us in bondage. No matter how old the pain/hurt is…it must be brought to the surface and dealt with accordingly.
 
And be reminded that, when you deal with your hurt-you cannot project how you feel onto someone else. Meaning, No one projects better or more frequently than a narcissist. They've practiced, honed and refined projection to a fine art. Whatever they're up to, by some mental “abracadabra,” suddenly they're innocent and you're the one up to no-good.
 
 
Help is available, should you be willing to admit and commit to getting it.
 
#Godfirst #MentalHealthAdvocate #CertifiedLifeCoach #NewAdventureSameJourney